ohhh Baby

There is a fat little baby staring at me right.this.minute. He is so cute I can't stand it. My biological clock is ticking so loud other people can hear it.

Let's pretend I don't already have three kids. Some part of me blocked out the horror of those pregnancies (not to mention the sickening aftermath from the failed relationships) and in two seconds, this .... drooler... has me wishing I had another.

This little saliva-coated-cheerio-moon-pie-face-magnet has me thinking "it wasn't really THAT bad, was it?? WAS IT??

You don't understand. He's so cute it makes my cheeks hurt because I smile so hard when he stumbles over here. All he can do is make a clicking sound with his tongue and smile with his six teeth and waddle on his fat legs and ram into my files and be fucking cute. His toes look like snacks. He has dimples when he smiles. His eyes sparkle. He has a fuzz head. He has a dinosaur onesie that says some crap about "stompalotasaurus" or something. He's covered in Whoknowswhat from Godknowswhere, and...he's STILL standing here smiling at me and making cute squawkie noises.

His bib says "smartie pants" on it. He has fat little cute pop-eye arms. HE.IS.SO.CUTE.

It's ri-god-damn-diculous.

/endrant.